"Eat, sleep, do it again."

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Since the middle of August, I’ve taken one day off - October 6th.  Other than that day, I’ve been working seven days a week, each week. As I prepare to take a few days off for Thanksgiving, I want to share some reflections here.

I have been working non-stop mostly because of the panic, insecurity, and stubbornness related to a new job, my first one actually practicing law. In May, after spending 10 years doing child welfare data analysis, I decided to scale back my consulting and try something I have no idea how to do – represent clients with civil legal problems. The idea that I would someday practice law was starting to feel elusive, and I would catch myself daydreaming about what type of lawyer I would be instead of actually taking steps to carve out time to be a lawyer. So I took the plunge.

The transition has been unforgiving. I took a full-time staff attorney position in May, yet stubbornly convinced myself I could continue managing my consulting projects. I was wrong, and my penance has been working non-stop since, except on October 6th. I have been working so much because I have no idea what I am doing, and in the face of that dilemma, going to the office any day I am home in Columbia to read and write and work seemed like the right thing to do. Except on October 6th.

I was scheduled to be in Birmingham for some consulting work on October 5th and noticed that Americana musician Shakey Graves was playing at Iron City that night. I love Shakey Graves, so I impulsively bought two tickets to the show, delayed my flight home a day, and flew my wife out to spend the evening in Birmingham. Walking to Iron City, we felt young.

Here we are at Iron City in B'Ham - Shakey is about to take the stage. 

It was a great night capped off by an unforgettable performance. Midway through the set, Shakey Graves started a song I never paid much attention to beforehand. As the band worked together to slowly establish the melody, harmony, and rhythm, Shakey introduced the song stating, “Don’t be that mopey person that gets stuck in a routine and uses escapism, don’t feel sorry for yourself… just do something.”

Since then, Shakey Graves’ music has carried me through Saturdays drafting direct examinations and Sundays writing briefs. It’s been in the background on Tuesdays driving to client meetings and on my headphones during the occasional Thursday night flights to my beloved consulting gigs I refuse to give up. That song in particular always catches my attention, delightfully causing me to lose focus for just a moment and “drift off into my head.” That song in particular reminds me that my discomfort in learning a new skill – practicing law – is exactly what I need to be doing.

I took this job because I wanted to use my law degree to help people in my community. Most of my panic and insecurity has resulted from the idea of standing up in court on behalf of a client with a real problem. It is a big jump to go from convincing child welfare stakeholders the value of administrative data to convincing a judge that he or she should think differently about my client, because this family is different from all the other families the judge has interacted with. Standing up in court happened first on Halloween, and for the second time earlier today. Both went well enough, but I hope I get better. As I keep practicing, keep working, and keep trying, I know I will.  

My friend Vivek recently took up the guitar. That’s not all that different from what I am doing with this new job. We spend time pushing ourselves in ways we don’t need to, but in ways for which we constantly long. As I was reminded on October 6th, I don’t ever have “to dream about all of the things that I’ll never do." Instead, on Monday, after a few days off, I am going to get up and do them. Whether you are learning to play guitar or learning to practice law, it is important for us to do things that are outside our comfort zone and push ourselves into unfamiliar and challenging situations. I think it makes us better advocates, and I know it makes us better humans.

The parents I represent need a kick-ass lawyer, one who leaves them hopeful about their family and their home and their decisions. I strive to be that lawyer, and I’m proud to be working every day to make that happen. Except on October 6th, when I spent the day flying home from Birmingham after spending the evening chasing my youth with my wife. And except for the next few days, where I plan to enjoy time with my family, resting up so I can “eat, sleep, do it again.”

Happy Thanksgiving.



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