Rethinking Foster Care

A few weeks ago on a phone call discussing how systems can support keeping kids safely with their families, a judge abruptly interjected, “I don’t like this focus on the rights of parents. We should always be focusing on the best interest of children at all times, before a kid is removed and once a court is involved!” In my years practicing child welfare law, I’ve heard this refrain many, many times. It makes my head hurt. The refrain pains me because we all know that the “best interest of the child” is not an objective standard. All of us disagree – all the time – about what we think is best for a child. What time should they go to bed? Should they co-sleep with us? How should they be disciplined? Should they be raised in a “free-range” parenting style? Or is helicoptering around them best? Gather a group of parents, chat for a few minutes, and you’ll quickly realize how much we disagree about what is good for children. This dynamic exists within the child welfare system as wel

A Keychain, A Box of Chocolates, and A Certificate of Emancipation Ikea Lanham Emancipation Day. Also known as the worst day of my young adult life. Although I wasn’t prepared to actually leave foster care, I had anticipated this day ever since I entered, nine years earlier. In fact, months prior, I had actually started to pack up and attempted to make plans for the day. But those plans were useless when January 1, 2009 arrived. I still remember that cold, long day. I was scared and worrying the night before. I couldn’t sleep. I was the 21 year-old mom of an almost-2-year-old boy, wondering where we’d go and what would come next for us. No one had answers for us.   After our foster parent made us leave, I didn’t know where to go. I started scrolling through my phone’s call log with hopes of finding someone to call to give us a place to go, even for a few days. I couldn’t allow us to be set out like garbage awaiting the trash truck. Of all the peop